How some caring Indian parents skew up career of their child.

We recently had to painfully let go one of our star performers at Harrier for a reason other than her performance and behavior. Reason, she said is can’t even make a day-trip to visit a client, not even with a colleague, as her father has restricted her to travel overnight in train without a family member accompanying her! We could have sent her by air if we could afford, but this was a fundamental issue of who decides whether she will travel or not for office work! We understand the scary atmosphere created by stories in media about crimes against women and her father is justified to be concerned about her safety, but this sounds like stretching it a bit too much to put a blanket restriction on her overnight travel. Further he seems to have said that she is free to do what she likes after her marriage. So, it seems that he is less worried about her safety and more about his duty to keep her safe only till her marriage, as after that, it seems, it is someone else’s duty to worry about her safety! What do we call this?

Unfortunately, she is not alone! In India, many parents consider it their right to know about every move their children make. They also want to have a say and expect the child to obey it even if they don’t know or understand what s/he does at work and her circumstances. They don’t even realize that they are playing with the career of their child. At a broader level this is also an example of how incidents of crime against women are affecting the Indian economy.

I remember about 10 years back, my dad calling me in New York from India asking me to refuse a contract we got from Standard & Poor’s, because that would have kept me away from home for a couple of months! Unfortunately, I was obedient enough to do that, to repent it later! Incidentally, he is also an investor in my Company, Harrier. Can you imagine an investor asking the CEO of an investee company to refuse an order from a Fortune 1000 company because the CEO is his son and he want his son be to with him and not in the US for long! This takes conflict of interest to a new level! J

I remember the following poem by the great Khalil Gibran here …

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Hope this helps sense prevail.