I am grateful to my parents for teaching me the following …

A meeting yesterday got me thinking about value systems we all have. I think the most important thing that separates individuals is their value system, leading to their thought process about what is right or wrong. Major part of the value system is developed during childhood by observing parents, and from their teachings. I am so grateful to my parents for having given us siblings following values.

1.     Joy of reading – my father is a voracious reader. We get about 8 newspapers at home daily. Aa a child, I saw him reading many books in Gujarati, Marathi, Hindi and English. He made sure we had enough books available for us to dive into. That developed the interest for reading classy stuff for us children. I think, this is the best legacy my father has given us and we are trying to pass it on to the next generation of our family.

2.    Whatever you do, do it openly – if you can’t openly do something, avoid it by all means. This ensures good night’s sleep for us as a family.

3.    It’s better to die than to beg for something – I clearly remember my mother telling me in Gujarati at many occasions that માગવા કરતા મરવુ સારુ (Magva karata maravu saaru); and I took it so seriously that I hesitate to even ask for pending payments from clients and have delegated the task to colleagues at Harrier. I never asked for a pay hike during my career and always received one for performance. :-)

4.    નીતી સારી હોય તો બધુ સારુ થાય (Neeti saari hoy to badhu saaru thay) – if your intentions are good, everything will be good.

5.    દેવા જેવો રાખજે (Deva jeo rakhaje) – we still hear my father requesting God to always keep him capable of giving and sharing with others. He says, only when we are satisfied with what we have, we can share with others. I think, this is also the reason why we as kids always felt being very well-off in spite of our parents struggling to make ends meet at times. We only realized this after visiting Mumbai and the USA, and seeing what being well-off really means. :-)

6.    ભાગવા કરતા લડિને મરવું સારુ! (It’s better to die fighting than to run away) – Always face the tough situation than running away from it. Once as a child, I was unprepared for an exam in school and wanted to avoid appearing for the test. I was bold/honest enough to inform this to my dad and he said, either ways you’ll fail; why not fight the test and fail than failing without appearing for it? I went for the test and cleared it. He knew I’ll succeed. I always remembered this whenever I was ill-prepared for any test and stick to this principle even today. This is one of the great lessons he taught me.

7.    Dream Big – I clearly remember, while running a grocery shop in a remote village near Nagpur, my dad was trying to figure out how to setup a factory for manufacturing televisions! While we had a motorcycle for the family, he used to say, each one of us should have a personal car, and we used to laugh at him. Now, we have. He decided to get into real estate business after observing in Readers’ Digest that 4 out of 10 richest persons in the world are real estate developers. He encouraged me to get into software development, knowing Bill Gates is on the top of the list! Though I am still far from getting there. :-)

8.     खुदी को कर बुलन्द इतना कि हर तकदीर से पहले खुदा बंदे से खुद पुछे … this one is a bit poetic …. Always focus on strengthening yourself so much that even God asks you before writing your fate. My dad always says to avoid wasting your time and energy on fighting with anyone but focus on getting mightier to gain respect. Power respects power. The best way to shorten a line without erasing it, is to create a longer line next to it, by working harder! :-)

9.     Relationships are important than money – this sounds a bit old fashioned or foolish in these times when people think twice before taking calls from acquaintances and others. We are taught to respect everyone and be generous to others with your time, even if you don’t need anything from a person. This seems getting rare, particularly in urban setting where every action is for a purpose/objective. I miss the innocence of being available to others irrespective of who it is and why.

Our values make us who we are. Thank you parents for these ground principles that make our life simple and easy.